Imagine...

...a NWOARM band-type tour! 'Cross North America like Warped Tour or something, but with bands that are guitar-riff oriented and know how to rock out. Like, I went to Warped tour and was profoundly disappointed with bullshit like... All Time Low. Not even hardcore... not even EMO... it was just pop-punk of the worst kind. Jesus. The crowd was only thirteen year old girls. Come on.

Imagine The Sword on center stage, followed by Priestess and Lowrider! Epic riffage for a mile around! Of course, to keep it within any margin of profit, it would be prudent to include bands that are more mainstream but still do not stray far from the NWOARM line, like Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, He Is Legend, and Every Time I Die. In the end, if anything like this were to happen, the goal of money might force the tour to include some (IMO, sorry but this is a blog) less desirable metal acts such as Lamb of God or the like. But I think it would be pretty appropriate to exclude death- and black metal bands. Sorry, Norway.

Anyway, just a dream I had. I don't intend to do anything about it.

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster

This post might be slightly ill-received by some readers, but I hope it is not because this band is amazing. In all seriousness, MATSOD is basically Lynyrd Skynyrd with a metal edge and less blues-inspired lyrics, focusing instead on either the story of the turn-of-the-century gangster Ma Barker and her sons, or else on simply being totally and completely badass. In all honestly, you will probably not find a "hardcore stoner metal fan". This blog focuses mainly on stoner metal, but most readers are open minded and fans of large genres, mainly because there's really not that much stoner metal to choose from. So it's here that I reveal that the singer, Dallas Taylor, was once the singer for Underoath. Don't lose faith and give up here. He doesn't scream so hard you want to kill yourself. He barely even screams. He just sings brutally. Which is totally fine. And come on, retro metal is mostly about the guitar, anyway. And Maylene is up-front, balls-out, blues-based METAL. It doesn't get much better, especially if you want to get totally pumped and are sick of calmly contemplating clean, wah- and phaser-enhanced stoner guitar like Upon the Dune by Lowrider. Sick song, but you get my point. We all need to rock out, and when that's the order, Maylene and the Sons of Distaster DELIVER.

There are two albums so far: self-titled and "II". The first is dirtier and grittier sounding but heavy as fuck. The second is better IMO; it has slightly cleaner riffs but they're still totally sick and the solos are pretty good and not hackneyed in the least. But the songs as wholes just kick ass. Dig it.

Maiden, Mother & Crone Video

So if you don't already know, the new video for "Maiden, Mother, & Crone" will appear on Headbanger's Ball this weekend. I know it sucks that The Sword is on MTV, but it's their duty to shine through the meaningless math-screamo crap they show on there and show people what real rock is. And J.D. thinks he's the shit now because he grew a beard, but he basically is so we can't pick on him.

You can watch it on the website. If ye so desirest, clickest thou here.

Spiritu

Spiritu is a band that I can't believe I didn't know about earlier. They are everything that you want in a stoner metal band. There are two types of stoner metal singers: the kind that sounds stoned (The Sword, Nebula, Bloodhorse) and the great singer with a rough voice (Kyuss, Sasquatch). Spiritu's singer is by far the best of the second category; far better than John Garcia. He is simply the best singer in this genre I have yet encountered. The guitar is dark, fuzzy, and doomtastic. Sick riffs, nice clean parts (almost Skynyrd style), good solos, cool harmonies in the opening song and amazing vocal melodies throughout. This album is from 2002, and it's so good that I can't believe it's not a well-known classic among stoner/doom fans. It's new enough to sound original (well, as original as stoner metal can be) but keeps to the influences; some riffs in Fat Man In Thailand that use the classic doom tritone and half-step hammer-ons sounds lifted directly from the Black Sabbath theme. So if you don't own their self-titled album, FIND IT!!

"Gods Of The Earth" - The Sword

I have anticipated this album for a LONG time. I actually got it on Saturday, somehow. For true fans of The Sword, this is no let-down. At times, the vocals are actually better and more lively, and the rare guitar solos that lasted about two measures have returned with greater strength, although still only about twice as long. There are more pinch harmonics too, but not an obnoxious amount like you get with Bang Camaro. But everything you ever loved about The Sword is still there, and nothing that has been added takes away from the best qualities that attracted you to them. The lyrics are still epic as hell, and still good enough that they don't totally make you want to throw up (for such epic lyrics, see Manowar). J.D. and Kyle riff it up like no one since Iommi, setting new standards with every stroke of their picks, Bryan provides the deepest, strongest foundations that make you visualize mountains, and Trivett's every fill blows your mind with speed and power. Now for the track-by-track breakdown:

1. The Sundering (2:05) - Much like Celestial Crown from the first album, this opening track is a short instrumental. However, it begins with a simple acoustic riff that later transitions into a crushing distorted one that later gives way to a slightly uncharacteristic guitar solo. Great opener.
2. The Frost-Giant's Daughter (5:04) - A pretty good song; certainly not among the top tracks of the album.
3. How Heavy This Axe (3:06) - This is one of the gems of the album--I don't know why it wasn't the single instead of Fire Lances. Basically, it has killer riffs and rousing vocal melodies during the chorus: the epitome of a good hard rock song.
4. Lords (4:58) - This song begins with a guitar riff that sounds like it should be the violin part of a Flogging Molly song, but slips into classic Sword riffage and warning lyrics.
5. Fire Lances Of The Ancient Hyperzephyrians (3:28) - Very good, with some of the hardest riffs on the album. Very forceful drumming.
6. To Take The Black (4:41) - Another one of the best songs on the album. Begins clean, and then produces some of the album's best riffs, as J.D. sings about the wild and dangerous "life on the wall".
7. Maiden, Mother, & Crone (4:00) - This track is outstanding as well: apart from mind-blowing guitars, it has great vocals and some of the most poetic and cryptic lyrics by The Sword; you'd expect to find such text in the Icelandic Eddas or the ancient writings of Homer.
8. Under The Boughs (4:57) - You might know this song if you bought that "Invaders" mix CD from Kemado Records with a lot of NWOARM on it. It starts out with a riff that I might actually call stupid, but the rest of the song makes up for it. It's ok.
9. The Black River(5:53) - This song is classic Sword. That's all I have to say.
10. The White Sea (7:23) - This electric instrumental is basically just an output for The Sword's endless flow of amazing riffs, along with several parts containing rare (although less so on this album) lead guitar lines.
11. -untitled bonus track- (2:18) - A great, Medieval-sounding acoustic instrumental. If you like any kind of Celtic music, this song is great. The riff is taken from To Take The Black.

666 hits!

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by the way, i was in san francisco and i saw Fu Manchu and ASG and Saviours and Orchid. it was sweet; i'll tell you about it later

Gentlemans Pistols

Out of Leeds comes a band that is bound to take your heart with their flaming hot riffs, bluesy licks, and badass vocals, often delivered at the speed of punk. Some of these "blues-punk" gems from their debut album include "Just a Fraction", "Widow Maker", and "Mistress Mistrust". Other less typical songs include "Heavy Petting", a fun and simple song with music obviously inspired by the immortal "Dazed and Confused", as well as "The Lady", a slightly slow song on the timeless blues subject of the evil woman. This album is like faster Witchcraft, with more grounded lyrics that are usually not very deep but can be full of clever rhyme. This band's MySpace lists their influences simply as "'68-'73". Chances are, if you are reading this blog, this is for you. You need Gentlemans Pistols.

Tiny Post

Btw, The Sword now has the full version of "Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians" on their MySpace, if you want to check it out. But you probably check that more often than this anyways.

Haha oh and their official website expired.

Nebula/Lowrider Double EP

Ok, so I know this EP is about nine years old but if you don't have it then it is a must. This album is pretty much one of the most defining pieces of the Stoner/Doom/NWOARM kind of movement. Nebula is a respected, relatively old band of the genre, who provides a steady opening and culminates their half with Fall of Icarus, which is armored with riffs so hard it could survive a Rambo attack. Their other songs are really excellent as well. Now for Lowrider: this Swedish band, in my opinion, takes it up a notch. Their opener, Lameneshma, is good but not excellent. The follow-up, however, provides what I would nominate as a candidate for "Greatest Stoner/Doom Riff Ever": The Gnome, the Serpent, the Sun. The song is full of sweet guitar, and if the solo were up to par, it might be my favorite song ever. Instead he does some screwing around Ritchie Blackmore-style. But whatever. Shivaree is good metal in the vain of the Master of Reality tracks, and Upon the Dune is very trippy with a lot of wah on a clean channel.

If you're reading this blog, you probably own this album, but here's the track listing just for the lulz:

Nebula:
1. Anything from You - 3:58
2. Full Throttle - 4:09
3. Back to the Dawn - 4:17
4. Fall of Icarus - 4:12
Lowrider:
5. Lameneshma - 4:57
6. The Gnome, the Serpent, the Sun - 5:24
7. Shivaree - 5:49
8. Upon the Dune - 5:42

THE SWORD announce new album!

Yea, the avatars of the guitar-wielding deities return from the heavens to wreak chaos upon the world with their second storm entitled "Gods of the Earth". The tempest will hit on the first day of the fourth month. Be prepared.

Track Listing:

1. The Sundering
2. How Heavy This Axe
3. Lords
4. Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians
5. To Take the Black
6. Maiden, Mother & Crone
7. Under the Boughs
8. The Black River
9. The White Sea

Sasquatch

They've got huge riffs and a fantastic, fuzzed-out tone. The downside is that, in moments, Keith Gibbs sounds a lot like Chad Kroeger. I, for one, can forgive that in light of catchy tracks such as the four minute hook, "Pleasure to Burn." You must check this out if you're a fan of Fu Manchu, Hermano, etc. [thanks to Killface of submitting this]

First of all, I'd like to thank anyone who actually reads this blog. Ok. Cool. So Killface is right, this hairy, mountain-dwelling humanoid has fuzztastic guitars (not literally, like ZZ Top) and lively songs that you can't believe aren't on the radio. [finish this later]