Imagine...

...a NWOARM band-type tour! 'Cross North America like Warped Tour or something, but with bands that are guitar-riff oriented and know how to rock out. Like, I went to Warped tour and was profoundly disappointed with bullshit like... All Time Low. Not even hardcore... not even EMO... it was just pop-punk of the worst kind. Jesus. The crowd was only thirteen year old girls. Come on.

Imagine The Sword on center stage, followed by Priestess and Lowrider! Epic riffage for a mile around! Of course, to keep it within any margin of profit, it would be prudent to include bands that are more mainstream but still do not stray far from the NWOARM line, like Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, He Is Legend, and Every Time I Die. In the end, if anything like this were to happen, the goal of money might force the tour to include some (IMO, sorry but this is a blog) less desirable metal acts such as Lamb of God or the like. But I think it would be pretty appropriate to exclude death- and black metal bands. Sorry, Norway.

Anyway, just a dream I had. I don't intend to do anything about it.

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster

This post might be slightly ill-received by some readers, but I hope it is not because this band is amazing. In all seriousness, MATSOD is basically Lynyrd Skynyrd with a metal edge and less blues-inspired lyrics, focusing instead on either the story of the turn-of-the-century gangster Ma Barker and her sons, or else on simply being totally and completely badass. In all honestly, you will probably not find a "hardcore stoner metal fan". This blog focuses mainly on stoner metal, but most readers are open minded and fans of large genres, mainly because there's really not that much stoner metal to choose from. So it's here that I reveal that the singer, Dallas Taylor, was once the singer for Underoath. Don't lose faith and give up here. He doesn't scream so hard you want to kill yourself. He barely even screams. He just sings brutally. Which is totally fine. And come on, retro metal is mostly about the guitar, anyway. And Maylene is up-front, balls-out, blues-based METAL. It doesn't get much better, especially if you want to get totally pumped and are sick of calmly contemplating clean, wah- and phaser-enhanced stoner guitar like Upon the Dune by Lowrider. Sick song, but you get my point. We all need to rock out, and when that's the order, Maylene and the Sons of Distaster DELIVER.

There are two albums so far: self-titled and "II". The first is dirtier and grittier sounding but heavy as fuck. The second is better IMO; it has slightly cleaner riffs but they're still totally sick and the solos are pretty good and not hackneyed in the least. But the songs as wholes just kick ass. Dig it.

Maiden, Mother & Crone Video

So if you don't already know, the new video for "Maiden, Mother, & Crone" will appear on Headbanger's Ball this weekend. I know it sucks that The Sword is on MTV, but it's their duty to shine through the meaningless math-screamo crap they show on there and show people what real rock is. And J.D. thinks he's the shit now because he grew a beard, but he basically is so we can't pick on him.

You can watch it on the website. If ye so desirest, clickest thou here.

Spiritu

Spiritu is a band that I can't believe I didn't know about earlier. They are everything that you want in a stoner metal band. There are two types of stoner metal singers: the kind that sounds stoned (The Sword, Nebula, Bloodhorse) and the great singer with a rough voice (Kyuss, Sasquatch). Spiritu's singer is by far the best of the second category; far better than John Garcia. He is simply the best singer in this genre I have yet encountered. The guitar is dark, fuzzy, and doomtastic. Sick riffs, nice clean parts (almost Skynyrd style), good solos, cool harmonies in the opening song and amazing vocal melodies throughout. This album is from 2002, and it's so good that I can't believe it's not a well-known classic among stoner/doom fans. It's new enough to sound original (well, as original as stoner metal can be) but keeps to the influences; some riffs in Fat Man In Thailand that use the classic doom tritone and half-step hammer-ons sounds lifted directly from the Black Sabbath theme. So if you don't own their self-titled album, FIND IT!!

"Gods Of The Earth" - The Sword

I have anticipated this album for a LONG time. I actually got it on Saturday, somehow. For true fans of The Sword, this is no let-down. At times, the vocals are actually better and more lively, and the rare guitar solos that lasted about two measures have returned with greater strength, although still only about twice as long. There are more pinch harmonics too, but not an obnoxious amount like you get with Bang Camaro. But everything you ever loved about The Sword is still there, and nothing that has been added takes away from the best qualities that attracted you to them. The lyrics are still epic as hell, and still good enough that they don't totally make you want to throw up (for such epic lyrics, see Manowar). J.D. and Kyle riff it up like no one since Iommi, setting new standards with every stroke of their picks, Bryan provides the deepest, strongest foundations that make you visualize mountains, and Trivett's every fill blows your mind with speed and power. Now for the track-by-track breakdown:

1. The Sundering (2:05) - Much like Celestial Crown from the first album, this opening track is a short instrumental. However, it begins with a simple acoustic riff that later transitions into a crushing distorted one that later gives way to a slightly uncharacteristic guitar solo. Great opener.
2. The Frost-Giant's Daughter (5:04) - A pretty good song; certainly not among the top tracks of the album.
3. How Heavy This Axe (3:06) - This is one of the gems of the album--I don't know why it wasn't the single instead of Fire Lances. Basically, it has killer riffs and rousing vocal melodies during the chorus: the epitome of a good hard rock song.
4. Lords (4:58) - This song begins with a guitar riff that sounds like it should be the violin part of a Flogging Molly song, but slips into classic Sword riffage and warning lyrics.
5. Fire Lances Of The Ancient Hyperzephyrians (3:28) - Very good, with some of the hardest riffs on the album. Very forceful drumming.
6. To Take The Black (4:41) - Another one of the best songs on the album. Begins clean, and then produces some of the album's best riffs, as J.D. sings about the wild and dangerous "life on the wall".
7. Maiden, Mother, & Crone (4:00) - This track is outstanding as well: apart from mind-blowing guitars, it has great vocals and some of the most poetic and cryptic lyrics by The Sword; you'd expect to find such text in the Icelandic Eddas or the ancient writings of Homer.
8. Under The Boughs (4:57) - You might know this song if you bought that "Invaders" mix CD from Kemado Records with a lot of NWOARM on it. It starts out with a riff that I might actually call stupid, but the rest of the song makes up for it. It's ok.
9. The Black River(5:53) - This song is classic Sword. That's all I have to say.
10. The White Sea (7:23) - This electric instrumental is basically just an output for The Sword's endless flow of amazing riffs, along with several parts containing rare (although less so on this album) lead guitar lines.
11. -untitled bonus track- (2:18) - A great, Medieval-sounding acoustic instrumental. If you like any kind of Celtic music, this song is great. The riff is taken from To Take The Black.

666 hits!

show review

by the way, i was in san francisco and i saw Fu Manchu and ASG and Saviours and Orchid. it was sweet; i'll tell you about it later

Gentlemans Pistols

Out of Leeds comes a band that is bound to take your heart with their flaming hot riffs, bluesy licks, and badass vocals, often delivered at the speed of punk. Some of these "blues-punk" gems from their debut album include "Just a Fraction", "Widow Maker", and "Mistress Mistrust". Other less typical songs include "Heavy Petting", a fun and simple song with music obviously inspired by the immortal "Dazed and Confused", as well as "The Lady", a slightly slow song on the timeless blues subject of the evil woman. This album is like faster Witchcraft, with more grounded lyrics that are usually not very deep but can be full of clever rhyme. This band's MySpace lists their influences simply as "'68-'73". Chances are, if you are reading this blog, this is for you. You need Gentlemans Pistols.

Tiny Post

Btw, The Sword now has the full version of "Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians" on their MySpace, if you want to check it out. But you probably check that more often than this anyways.

Haha oh and their official website expired.

Nebula/Lowrider Double EP

Ok, so I know this EP is about nine years old but if you don't have it then it is a must. This album is pretty much one of the most defining pieces of the Stoner/Doom/NWOARM kind of movement. Nebula is a respected, relatively old band of the genre, who provides a steady opening and culminates their half with Fall of Icarus, which is armored with riffs so hard it could survive a Rambo attack. Their other songs are really excellent as well. Now for Lowrider: this Swedish band, in my opinion, takes it up a notch. Their opener, Lameneshma, is good but not excellent. The follow-up, however, provides what I would nominate as a candidate for "Greatest Stoner/Doom Riff Ever": The Gnome, the Serpent, the Sun. The song is full of sweet guitar, and if the solo were up to par, it might be my favorite song ever. Instead he does some screwing around Ritchie Blackmore-style. But whatever. Shivaree is good metal in the vain of the Master of Reality tracks, and Upon the Dune is very trippy with a lot of wah on a clean channel.

If you're reading this blog, you probably own this album, but here's the track listing just for the lulz:

Nebula:
1. Anything from You - 3:58
2. Full Throttle - 4:09
3. Back to the Dawn - 4:17
4. Fall of Icarus - 4:12
Lowrider:
5. Lameneshma - 4:57
6. The Gnome, the Serpent, the Sun - 5:24
7. Shivaree - 5:49
8. Upon the Dune - 5:42

THE SWORD announce new album!

Yea, the avatars of the guitar-wielding deities return from the heavens to wreak chaos upon the world with their second storm entitled "Gods of the Earth". The tempest will hit on the first day of the fourth month. Be prepared.

Track Listing:

1. The Sundering
2. How Heavy This Axe
3. Lords
4. Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians
5. To Take the Black
6. Maiden, Mother & Crone
7. Under the Boughs
8. The Black River
9. The White Sea

Sasquatch

They've got huge riffs and a fantastic, fuzzed-out tone. The downside is that, in moments, Keith Gibbs sounds a lot like Chad Kroeger. I, for one, can forgive that in light of catchy tracks such as the four minute hook, "Pleasure to Burn." You must check this out if you're a fan of Fu Manchu, Hermano, etc. [thanks to Killface of submitting this]

First of all, I'd like to thank anyone who actually reads this blog. Ok. Cool. So Killface is right, this hairy, mountain-dwelling humanoid has fuzztastic guitars (not literally, like ZZ Top) and lively songs that you can't believe aren't on the radio. [finish this later]

Alabama Thuderpussy

Once again, I'll write this post later...

Valient Thorr

This is some intense stuff. It's energetic metal that's as foot-stompingly catchy as metal can be. Rousing vocal melodies, slaying guitar lines, and rough vocals make for an excellent party band. But that's not to discredit their music; Valient Thorr know how to write songs. Somtimes the music quiets so that sweat-covered frontman Valient Himself can rant, sometimes inanely.

Contrary to some predispositions generated by their name. Valient Thorr is not a power metal band. They have written the only good blatantly anti-war song of the decade. Some of their lyrics are simple and straightforward, but there's nothing wrong with that. Apparently a live show is something of a religious experience, be that good or bad.


Oh yeah, and they also claim to be from inside the planet Venus.

The Sword/Witchcraft split 12'' (post 3)

Well I finally got it. The guy at my local record store ordered it for me. Available only on vinyl, by the way. Purple tie-dye vinyl, in fact. That is a bit of a bummer, since I will have use one of those vinyl-to-cd recorders, one of which have, which has very crappy quality.

Anyway, I was extremely pleased. The opening song Sea Of Spears by The Sword is AMAZING. I was skeptical that the The Sword could produce anything as epicly awesome as their first album, but apparently the next album will bee just as good if not better, because Sea Of Spears is possibly the BEST Sword song of them all. The riffs are so cool. That's not a very professional review, but seriously. They are cool. This is one of the reasons why people love metal. You hear the guitar and you go "that's fuckin' cool."

Bloodhorse

Bloodhorse is a typical (and therefore awesome) doom metal band hailing from Boston, Massachusetts. If you are a fan of The Sword, Bloodhorse will hit home hard with you. Hard riffage, scant lyrics that are timelessly epic, and a highly talented drummer make an excellent band.

Buy their self-titled EP. I think the first track (I'm Burned) is a little weak but the rest OWN. Il Treno a Tucumcari and Son of Man rock SOOO hard. The Goat is like Moby Dick by Zep: sweet riffage at the beginning and the end and a long and masterful drum solo in between!! Bloodhorse (the song) is classic doom. Dig it.

Year Long Disaster

Year Long Disaster is an amazing band somewhat like a more hardcore Witchcraft, with fairly simple, low, bludgeoning riffs and resonating, rugged vocals from frontman Daniel Davies, son of none other than The Kinks' Dave Davies.

Bang Camaro! LIVE!

So I saw Bang Camaro. It was CRAZY. You have to see them.

I saw them at the Frank Jones Center in Portsmouth, NH. Basically, the main event that night was the premiere showing of an intense hardcore skiing short film. When I got there with my friend (and two German exchange students), the place was packed tight with the skier type, all wrapped up in their colorful top-of-the-line Thinsulate North Face winter jackets, milling about the scattered state-of-the-art ski kiosks, and making you feel nonathletic and out of place. There was a French Canadian band that opened. I thought they were good. The singer/rhythm guitarist was a man in a wheelchair named Marc who was in the hardcore skiing movie. The lead guitarist was named Shampoo. (Canada...). Anyway, when they were done, Bang Camaro came on and opened with Out On The Streets. They played a blistering half-hour set and then took like 45 mins off to chill and drink while the movie played. At this time, my friend and I talked with the bassist (Dave) for a while and I got to play his Rickenbacker. Then they played another set (not so tight this time, but still great). After that, we talked with the guitarist Alex (who looks a lot like Dave Mustaine) and the singer Nick, who was kinda drunk and, in his state, promised to come to my friend's local punk gig on Tuesday the 2oth (which, unsurprisingly, he did NOT do). I got a shirt signed by a bunch of them and told Jillian (Street team manager) that I'd join the street team. I have yet to.

Sweet Answer Video

Just watch this. AMAZING guitar solo. Probably the best guitarist the NWOARM has to offer.




YOU HAVE THE ANSWER

Glossary Of Terms

This glossary of unconventional terms used in the the blog will be defined on this constantly updated post. Enjoy, and try to work as many of them as you can into normal conversation. See how long it takes for someone to tell you how much of a tool you are.

Bands are included

A.
B.
> ball-sackity - similar but not identical to the bomb-diggity
> bouncer - asshole that stands by a door
> Black metal - intense to the point where sounds are indistinguishable from one another and it pretty much sounds almost ambient
C.
> crowd surfing - only the ball-sackity. being held up by everyone in a crowd and being pushed up to the front
D.
> dope, the - something awesome. I do not endorse dope.
E.
> emo - where do I start...
> ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG - if you actually looked this up, you are a dumbass.
F.
G.
> goatsexual - sexually attracted only to goats
H.
I.
> Ian MacKaye - singer of Minor Threat; wrote gospel for straight edge movement
J.
K.
L.
> Lars - Lars Ulrich = asshole
> lemming - possibly the most hard-core animal of all time
> List Of Bands With Painfully Obvious Metal Names - nonexistent list
M.
> Manowar - gives viking metal a bad name
> metal - *sighhhh...*
> mosh pit - a pit where moshing occurs
> moshing - erratic contact dancing that originated with late 70s-early 80s hardcore punk movement; not violent unless some drunk jock d-bag decides to come in and fight
N.
> New Wave Of Alternative Retro-Metal - see "ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG"
> NWOBHM - New Wave Of British Heavy Metal
> NWOARM - see "New Wave Of Alternative Heavy Metal"
O.
P.
> Power metal - blame Robert Plant.
Q.
R.
> riffage - qualitative noun form of "riff"
S.
> Sabbathesque - of or pertaining to Black Sabbath
> screamo - portmanteau of "scream" and "emo"; see "emo"
> straight edge - don't drink, don't smoke (or do any shit), don't fuck casually.
T.
U.
V.
W.
X.
Y.
Z.
> Zeppelinesque - of or pertaining to the greatest band of all time

Bang Camaro

Bang Camaro is the People's Band. They write their songs with their fans in mind and would let the whole country into the band it they could. If Bang Camaro were running for President of the United States of America, I would vote for them.

Currently, it is composed of a drummer, a bass player, three lead guitars, and some ten-fifteen singers. Their shows are billed as "the greatest live experiences of people's lives" [fake quote]. Their songs take everything that is at once badass and hokey that we love about rock and roll and pack it into one experience. Bad, shallow (entirely satirical), and memorable lyrics about being wild and independent, drinking and getting laid, and everything else that makes a song popular combined with totally awesome guitar work makes for a sweet band. They are not fans of verses; those are shunned for highly repetitive choruses in the interest of the audience getting into the song as soon as possible. Also, they have a pack of singers strategically placed about the country, so they needn't bring those around to every major city. If you want to be in Bang Camaro, visit their website. It's pretty reminiscent of 80s metal, but without the totally goatsexual look.

Yeah, so I'm gonna see them on Friday the 9th, and it will be the ball-sackity.

"The Alchemist" - Witchcraft

So I finally got this from Canada before it comes out in the United States. If you like Witchcraft, you will love this album. It is, however, slightly different from their other albums. Don't get the wrong idea, but some parts are kinda jazzy. Let me give a song-by-song review:

1. Walking Between The Lines (3:26) - I never particularly liked this song. Sorry.
2. If Crimson Was Your Colour (3:49) - contains a mellotron solo (King Crimson tribute, anyone?). Possibly the most intense Witchcraft song ever, considering its speed. Great.
3. Leva (4:36) - in Swedish. This is the jazzy one at the beginning, but good guitar throughout.
4. Hey Doctor (5:15) - beautiful song, brilliant guitar work. Classic Witchcraft.
5. Samaritan Burden (6:29) - excellent drumming. The song alternates between guitar-bass verses and heavy parts. Slightly reminiscent of Sabbath's Hand Of Doom from Paranoid.
6. Remembered (5:17) - the beginning of this song pissed me off a little. Too upbeat. By the end I liked it, and I would like to add that the random saxophone solo made me feel like I was eating a bagel on a rainy day in Panera Bread
7. The Alchemist (14:37) - powerful song with typical Witchcraft riffs and acoustic sections, along with dramatic melodies and solos. Intense by the end (10:00 - 11:00). Then two minutes of silence, followed by a minute and a half of haunting guitar that gives you goosebumps. But that might have been how cold it is in this room...

iMix

In case you were wondering, and in case you are mentally incapable of finding the bands by yourself based on what I have already written, you can find an official (I call it official because I made it by myself, much like this entire blog) NWOARM iMix on the iTunes music store. It's hard to find because no one has given it a rating yet!!! Rate the damn thing, people!!!! Otherwise, no one will find it!! Oh wait, there are no people. I am pretty much blogging to myself. Anyway, go to the iMix, rate it 5 stars, buy some music or just remember the bands, and stuff like that. I'm sorry, but The Answer isn't on it because iTunes pulled 90% of their catalog literally two days after I bought the special edition of Rise. Now they only have two EPs. AARRGH!! If you live in Oakland, San Francisco, or Hollywood, you have a sweet Amoeba Records to buy this stuff at. If you live in New Hampshire like me, well, try hitting the eBay.

Random

This isn't even NWOARM but it blew my mind:



Well, at lest Victor did. I can't tell if Regi is really just screwing around.

Light Of Doom

Umm... ok... so, I was watching an American Idol-like show (largely because of my general lack of a life), and this band came on called Light Of Doom, where most members were thirteen at the time of shooting and the drummer was twelve years of age. Then I heard the opening bars of FLIGHT OF ICARUS, the song that turned me on to Maiden. My eyes were glued to the screen as they blew me away. The singer's voice is understandably a little weak, but he's fuckin' 13! And the guitarist shreds his guts out... and then their philosophy:

Their listed influences: "NINJAS, BOOBS, and EXPLOSIONS"
The Fallen Angel of Awesomeness hath spoken.


LIGHT OF DOOM = THE DOPE

The Answer

The Northern Irish band The Answer is amazing. They are far more blues-based than any of the aforementioned bands. Also, I would be willing to bet a lot of stuff that the singer was discovered while singing for a Led Zeppelin cover band. He doesn't sound particularly similar to Robert Plant, but if you see him... he dresses exactly the same, has very long, blond hair and the same crazy sideburns. And, like Plant, he is just as good, if not better, when playing live than recording in the studio. The guitarist is great, well trained in his blues scales and also in the art of shredding. They are a classic four-piece blues-based hard rock band that is what Led Zeppelin would have become had John Bonham not died and the Zep joined the NWOBHM until like 1983. I'm not saying that should have happened, I'm just saying that is what this sort of sounds like. They are basically Clutch with a non-baritone singer.

As far as their lyrics, they are either Zepplelinesque blues texts or kind of ambiguous stuff that vaguely addresses modern issues or random stuff. At times their words seem Christian-influenced, almost gospel-y. But then they have lyrics that contradict that. For example, the best song, the hard-rocking "Under The Sky" seems to have classic bluesy Christian lyrics, like those in "In The Time Of My Dying" (Zeppelin); yet the acoustic "Not Listening" is a call for leaders, soldiers and preachers to "leave us alone". And "Preachin' " seems to be about a poor man becoming a Baptist and trying to become a preacher so that he does not have to work.

The religion stuff doesn't matter, though. They are a good band, and I will listen to them no matter their views (I still haven't established exactly what those are anyway). They kick ass.

One phrase: I HAVE MET MY MAKER




Videos:

Never Too Late - Live stuff to show you how good they are live


Under The Sky - unfortunately doesn't have the sweet bluesy beginning


Never Too Late

Early Man

Early Man is a Brooklyn band that is mostly one of the many Sabbathesque bands represented on this page. However, while the others here tend to lean towards the lighter side of rock, Early Man teeters on the edge of thrash metal like Metallica, Megadeth and Anthrax.

-

-

\m/ MEGADETH \m/

This isn't really a live review; it's really just a block of text about how awesome the Megadeth show I saw was. I'm not actually a big Megadeth fan, but my friend is and it was cool.

Right, so, it was at the Hampton Beach Casino place in New Hampshire. To get you in, they drew "x"s on the backs of your hand like the cover of that Teen Idles album that Ian MacKaye did before he was in Minor Threat. Anyway, we got in and milled around to the right of the stage. The first band that came up was pretty emo (although, even though the thing I hate most about emo are the vocals, this guy had a good live voice. For an emo singer. Damn, I hang out with too many emo kids!), and that was unpleasant. They were called "The Confession". They played for maybe half an hour and then left. Then there was "In This Moment" (or something to that effect), a screamo band with a female singer who looked like a plastic doll in her huge pink dress and her blonde hair tied back. As is characteristic of the genre, she alternated constantly between high-pitched wailing and low belching. They sucked. The bassist was cool, though. He looked incredibly Greek, somehow. Then there was silence for a while. Every once and a while, a chant would emanate from some area of the crowd (which I was in the middle of now, having worked my way in during the second band) like "Megadeth!", "Dave Mustaine!" or "Fuck Lars!".

Then they arrived. There was some erratic drum-testing as Dave, his bassist and his new guitarist walked out front with their stuff. Everyone was cheering for a while, and the band did their thing, up on stage acting like no one was watching them. Then they launched right into like Sleepwalker or something (I don't actually remember what song was first). Almost immediately, the moshing started. Some guy behind me wasn't ready and got pushed forward. Basically, his beer got spilled all over my entire back. For about five minutes there, it was pretty tense as the crowd was so densely packed but an official mosh pit had not been formally established. There was really just massive swaying happening, where you were sandwiched on all sides and you would be pushed so that your feet were on the floor but your body was at a 50 degree angle to the ground. Then you would go just as far the other way. Eventually I (at this point separated form my friends) was forced behind the rectangular mosh pit. We didn't stay there for long, and soon we found ourselves in front of the moshing, and about 15 feet from the bar between us and the stage. It was at this point that through eye contact only, my friend convinced my to try my hand at crowd surfing for the first time. Well, I grabbed the shoulders of the massive man in front of me and my friend pushed me up. I more or less hurtled upwards and then was on my back, gliding in in the direction of the stage. It took me about ten or fifteen seconds to get there, and I think I kicked a few people in the head on the way. To them that were aggrieved, I apologize profusely. But your discomfort was worth my euphoria. So I got up to the front, not seven feet from Dave, and then bouncer reached out and pulled me down, lowering me slowly to the ground like one would a baby. Another bouncer directed me off to the left of the stage and a third pushed me along, as an old guy behind the barrier hi-fived me. I got out to the side and realized that I was now far from the middle. I saw a guy with a Jethro Tull shirt and yelled "nice shirt!". It took me a while to get back in. I took some good pictures with my cell phone around this point, but I can't get them onto my computer for some reason. Anyway, I eventually forced my way back to the middle and stayed there. The three songs that everyone sang were "Peace Sells", "Symphony Of Destruction", and the new "À Tout Le Monde". It was awesome when everyone sang. Then I surfed again and ended up on the right this time. I really stayed there until the end of the show, which was only about a half hour more. When it ended, I bought a water and we got out. It was about midnight, so naturally we stopped for a donut and iced tea on the way home. I got home at 1:00. I had an email from a friend asking if I was going to be attending an event at 8:00 the previous night. I wrote back "NO MAN, IT'S 1 AM AND I JUST GOT HOME FROM MEGADETH". Yeah. That's all. Cool.

It was epic, like The Lord of The Rings.

Priestess

The Canadian band Priestess is awesome. They are not the most obscure of NWOARM bands, clearly evidenced by their slightly more produced (dare I say "poppier"? No, I daren't.) sound, full of catchy melodies and memorable hooks. That's not to say they don't rock the hell out. They embody that crucial fusion of the elements of awesomeness and the potential to be popular, leaving you with an excellent band. The singer is good (that is to say, better than the average NWOARM singer), although I don't know how talented he is live (one of the most fundamental elements of the NWOARM is to sound as good or better than they do in the studio). The guitarists pull good riffs and the occasional shredding solo, like in the Britishly-spelled "I Am The Night, Colour Me Black" (do they spell it like that in Canada?). My favorite song is "Two Kids". It's sweet.


"Lay Down" - Really catchy song by Priestess

Another band I will see in coming months, Priestess is playing with the immortal Clutch at Toad's Place in New Haven Connecticut. That is a show I cannot miss.

RIP John Bonham

On this day, 27 years ago, 32-year old John Henry Bonham, the greatest rock drummer the world has yet and may ever see, succumbed to death. Wherever you are, take a moment of silence.


Every year on the 25th of September, I try to get as many kids as possible at my school to wear Zeppelin shirts in his honor. This year, only like four (including me) remembered. It was pitiful. NO respect for the dead. I am disappointed today. A bunch claimed that theirs was in the wash. Bullshit.

HE LIVES ON IN 20 MINUTE DRUM SOLOS!!!!!

The Sword/Witchcraft split 12'' (post 2)

Yeah, so I got more info even though it was announced a while ago. I now have a picture of the album cover and the track listing. The cover is two ravens back to back. Pretty sweet.

The Sword
1. "Sea Of Spears"
2. "Immigrant Song"

Witchcraft
1. "You Bury Your Head"
2. "Queen Of Bees"
3. "Sorrow Evoker"

I really wish The Sword had chosen to cover "No Quarter" instead of "Immigrant Song". The riff is cooler. They could have mimicked the organ or keyboard thing with a guitar and the song would have ruled. But they had to go and choose the obvious one. Well, I guess I shouldn't complain. I mean, ZEPPELIN, YEAHHHH!!!!

There we go.


All of the Witchcraft songs are previously released. The first from their first album and the others from "Firewood". They are all good, but "Queen Of Bees" is by far the best. This split will be amazing. I only hope that " 12" " means "full album" and not just "12" vinyl LP". That might suck, but I'd buy it anyway. I wonder how it would fit with my collection of classic rock? Pretty well, I suppose.

Witchcraft Videos

I didn't feel like posting these on the old Witchcraft post, so here they are:

Chylde Of Fire



No Angel Or Demon (Live)



Witchcraft (Live)

Witch

Finally, from the lush, misty, forested depths of the unexplored New World's northeast comes another band of hardened souls to join the ever-swelling host of the righteous. They are led by the world-renowned drummer J Mascis (Massachusetts, USA) , who gained fame over four score seasons ago fighting under the banner of Dinosaur Jr., where he wielded the guitar. Now he mans the kit as the rear guard. They are collectively known as WITCH, and Mascis' brothers of the band hail from Vermont.

Witch's eponymous self-titled album is eponymously self-titled "Witch", as you may have guessed. It is actually exceptional. My favorite song as of now is "Rip Van Winkle", but really all of the other songs are good. It ends with "Isadora", which is pretty slow (not unusual) but also quiet (unusual). All in all, every song does a good job of conveying emotion and atmosphere and rocks hard. Buy the album.

"Seer" by Witch

Actually, I will be fortunate enough to see them with Witchcraft at a small stone church in Vermont this coming November. If you live nearby, the venue is in Brattleboro and is called "The Church". However, their website does not list Witch or Witchcraft on their list of upcoming artists. I e-mailed the person that own The Church with the question about a week ago, but still I have received no response. The website is here, if you are also curious. I would be very disappointed if the gig were canceled, but the only proof I have that it is going to happen is the phrase 'A stone church with no name' on both the Witchcraft website and their MySpace.

The Sword/Witchcraft split 12''

The Sword and Witchcraft, possibly the two best bands in the genre, have decided to release an album together, each with two songs on it. That is the coolest fusion (haha they are an infinite energy source, get it? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more, a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? I'm done.) possible. It may not seem so important, but it seems pretty amazing to me.

And then I heard more news. I was totally in awe of The Sword and believed that they not be any more awesome. Then I read on the Kemado Records MySpace that one of The Sword's songs would be Led Zeppelin cover.

AHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGHHHGHGHGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

That is the coolest fucking thing I could have imagined and would never have believed it to be true! Seriously, JD Cronise is my hero (vocals/lead 'tar). Or whoever suggested it. My best guess is that it will be either "Immigrant Song" (Led Zeppelin III, 1970) or "No Quarter" (Houses of the Holy, 1973), because both of those are about vikings and the Sword has a thing for vikings without being power metal (and yes, power metal is Robert Plant's fault with his Lord of the Rings songs).

Think of a band. Got one? Led Zeppelin is better than it.

Clutch

I know that Clutch isn't a new band; they came out as early as Nirvana or Pearl Jam, but they are such a prime example of a NWOARM band that they must be included. For those who haven't heard Clutch (and therefore must be assumed to have little or no gray matter, as ignorance is no excuse), they are like Zeppelin on steroids. A lot of steroids. And not only that they are a heavier band or play metal-ier riffs, but also they exhibit many well-known results of actual steroids, such as great deepening of the voice and and a dramatic increase in facial hair.

They are virtuosic musicians, playing perfect complicated riffs in odd time signatures, as well as intellectuals, with every line of lyrics containing innumerable metaphors that are so confusing that you don't even try to decipher them and instead just take them literally and chortle (yes, I just used that word) at their absurdity ("Ribonucleic acid freakout", "Tipping cows in fields Elysian", "Robot lords of Tokyo: smile, taste kittens!"). They are probably my favorite lyricists.

Neil Fallon kicking ass

Witchcraft

Witchcraft is a powerful band hailing from Sweden. However, unlike many of their Swedish kin, Witchcraft choose not to express their music in death or even more repetitive black metal, but rather a frenzied, medieval/acid-metal freak-out. Like if Cream was crossed with early Sabbath. Claptonesque solos over fast, hard fuzzbox riffs and an 11th century/1970 Ozzy wailing over it all. Sometimes it is delivered in Swedish. They are highly fond of covering Pentagram, specifically their early, hard-to-get demo material that is just like Sabbath but not famous.

Visit their MySpace and listen to Wooden Cross and If Crimson Was Your Colour. There is also an exceedingly low-fidelity .mp3 of Not Angel Or Demon on their official website. But it's worth the static.

I hope to see them live soon. The closest show to me is the one in Brattleboro, Vermont at (and I quote from the Witchcraft website) 'A stone church with no name'. Like, how fuckin' badass can you be? If anything on this green earth is metal, that is. That will kick ass, considering also that they are supported by Witch, another good NWOARM band that is added to the "List Of Bands With Painfully Obvious Metal Names", along with The Sword and Witchcraft.

Wolfmother

As the most popularly accepted NWOARM band in the world, Wolfmother holds the most responsibility in spreading the word of the revolution. Unlike The Sword, their roots seem more to be in Led Zeppelin than Black Sabbath, so they can hardly be characterized as a metal band, but they kick insurmountable ass and they rock hard in a day devoid of hard rock.

They already have one sweet album out and then took a killer tour around the world. Now they have a live DVD out and are recording a new album. I bet it's due to contract crap, but I can't believe that they don't have a live cover of Communication Breakdown on the DVD. They better have one on their next album (not even coming out until 2008, goddamnit). They already have a good preview song on their MySpace, though.

Andrew Stockdale has a sweet 'fro. He's not a shredder, but he lays down some good guitar. But I gotta confess, he doesn't warm up his voice at all before live shows. He sounds like a lemming being strangled on the way down at the beginning of the show. He sounds good by the end (or maybe the pain just numbs you) at least. But don't let this throw you off. Go see them next tour.

The Sword

The band that, to me, carries the brightest and highest torch in the re-revolution that is NWOARM is THE SWORD. The Sword is the ultimate expression of all that is good about heavy metal. From their own pages of lore:

Before forging the blade, the swordsmiths underwent fasting and ritual purification. They then worked at their anvils in white clothes, like the robes of the priests. Their efforts were well rewarded. The final result was a blade of unparalleled craftsmanship. Its edge is made of metal so hard that it holds a razor sharpness even after repeated use in battle.

Little more may be said. All of their prose expresses the most noble and manly learnings, without stooping to the level of Power Metal, which, while at times enjoyable, is so clichéd that it often parodies itself to the point of making you revisit recent meals. And, as an added plus (haha, redundancy to the max), they produce the most violent, hard-rocking riffage since at least the NWOBHM.

Here is a Rolling Stone-style mathematical breakdown of The Sword:

Black Sabbath x (Manowar - bullshit) = THE SWORD

The New Wave Of Alternative Retro-Metal

First there was light. In long years past, the gods created music, one of the most powerful weapons of expression. The human nobility leapt upon this music and monopolized on it as well. But, indeed, great artifacts resulted, and the greatest of these symphonies are the stuff of legend. In nearer history, there were innumerable intelligent peoples to whom this great manipulation of music was never available. These people were ripped from the land that was their heart, and in their new world they were forced to endure things almost unspeakable. But during that time, they plotted a revolution. In the underground, they developed their own form of music, the most human form, which sang of the manipulated and their plight.

These two forms of music existed for several years, each relatively unaware of the other, until the human music revealed itself. It took years, but eventually the power of the first and the humanity of the second met in fusion to create that which we call Rock. The heroic bands of this genre that today carry on the torch of the truest, purest rock in this age are paid their homage due on this blog that is dedicated unto them.